THE UTAH JAZZ

It's happening again. Every season is the same. Depite all of my excuses and reassurances to myself the Jazz are finally starting to obviously suck. And the worst part is, I'm starting to lose interest in the team that I've grown up with. Despite all my reassurances that this would not happen to me as it had my older brothers, I fear I have finally reached that stage where Jazz games no longer entertain me.
I have been a Jazz fan for as long as I can remember. From my earliest days, I loved John Stockton and Karl Malone with all of my little boy heart. I was positive that my feelings and devotion for the Jazz would never change. My Jazz-loving reached its peak 2 seasons ago, when my beloved Jazz defied all expectations and nearly reached the playoffs. I was positive as the Jazz had an excellent offseason, (a first in franchise history) that last year was going to be superb.
It started out excellently, but injuries, and stupid players like Carlos Arroyo ruined the year. About midway through the year, I lost interest. For the first times in my life, the prospect of watching a Jazz game didn't sound all that interesting, and what's more I even TURNED OFF games before they were over. It was schocking.
So far this year, has been a similar story. I fear that this time around, my lack of interest isn't going to be reversed. I have missed about 3 or 4 jazz games in a row, perhaps not inconsequentally all losses. I see no hope for my newly afflicting illness. I belive that my only cure is for the Jazz to reverse their inconsistency and be consistently good. And if Jazz history is any indication, that won't be happening anytime soon.

Analytical Essays

I am sick of the analytical essay. I know this blog is a little late-coming, but I have to get this off my chest. Who decided that this 5-paragraph essay was the best way to write a paper? It seems to me that it was somebody who wanted to eliminate as much creativity as possible from the writing process. While it may make writing a paper easier and more organized, the 5-paragraph essay format does more harm than good by restricting the author's creative writing style.
If I was writing a 5-paragraph analytical essay right now, I would have already broken a plethora of rules. First off, the word "I". Who decided I can't put "I" in MY papers? I happen to like how I use the word I, and I would like to use it as much as I want. Does it really sound so horrible to write in the first person? I think not.
However, writing in the first person is the least of the 5-paragraph essay's problems. Overall, it is just too structured. I have to admit, I like the way they were going with the establishment of this "standard" of analytical writing. However, the man overdid it this time. Sure, having a nice, general outline to guide my ideas would be nice, but it's like they want to write the paper for me. I absolutely have to have a topic sentence and analysis supported by concrete detail. There are just too many rules to follow, and this is why I will never become a professional 5-paragraph analytical essay writer.
I know there are many young students out there who share my point of view. However, the educational system continues to shove this writing format down our throats. Writing is supposed to encourage creativity, not restrict it. Down with the 5-paragraph essay. Just let the students write how they want to for crying out loud!

Orange Julii

Orange Julius. A delicious ice-blended beverage, and an American icon. Right? Or is there something more to this treat than it would immeadeately appear. What goes in these drinks that makes them so good? Are they really good for you? Do they use real fruit? These are just some of the questions I will answer through my use of first-hand expereicne and analysis.
I have, regrettably, been working at Orange Julius for over 1.5 years. I am currently the 3rd longest tenured blendtender in the ranks. While some may be proud of this accomplishment, I am not. Working at a fast food establishment is one of the worst jobs one can have. Near-minimum wage pay, dealing with jerky people, and having unusual coworkers are just some of the trials I encounter every day I work there. These politeness of customers can vary greatly. From the tipping, gracious patron to the ronchy, dissatisfied buyer.
Some of these shoppers ask questions which do not have a plain answer. For example, "Do your smoothies contain real fruit?" While I usually answer yes to this question, I don't really know the answer to the question. It depends on your definition of "real". It was real, once upon a time. But then it was picked, shipped, smashed, sweetend, pureed, packaged, shipped, frozen, thawed, and finally blended and poured into your cup. You decide.
So what is it about these drinks that people like so much? I don't think they are all that great. I mean, of course I'll drink them for free, but I would never pay $4.00 for a sub-par drink, when Jamba Juice is 20X better.
You may be asking yourself what the point of this paper is. Well, in short, it is about the psychology of the human race. While going to the mall and purchasing a drink to quench your thirst may seem like a simple, inconsequential act, it is actually a complex mathematical equation, involoving many factors which eventually lead the customer to their final decision. And while I still haven't necessarily figured all these factors out, I know a few: advertising, thriftiness, fatigue, hunger, and the size of ones pocketbook all weigh into the decision.
So next time you walk by an Orange Julius and consider purchasing a Julius, or perhaps several Julii, think about what you are doing, and don't be brainwashed by corporate advertising. Just keep on walking.